Corporate B.S. Cleaning Cloths
Instructions for use:
Determine amount of B.S. to be cleaned. Dispense squares from roll and tear at appropriate perforation. Note: More than one roll may be required.
Crumple squares together and hold with one hand. Beginning at edges of B.S., attempt to push all B.S. into one pile. Note: Dispense extra sheets if required or if B.S. tends to resist attempts to contain it. Protecting skin and psyche at all times, cover and then lift pile of B.S. into center of crumpled cloths. Dispose of in appropriate container. Note: Appropriate containers are not always labeled as such, but may also be referred to as trash cans or toilets.
(Corporate B.S. Cleaning Cloths are recyclable and biodegradable, but should never be used more than once.) If you are experiencing an excess of Corporate B.S., look for our handy twenty-four-pack.
Warnings: Corporate B.S. can often be messy and difficult to contain. The attached cleaning cloths are not intended to do any of the following:
Determine the source of B.S..
Lessen the amount of B.S..
Eliminate B.S. entirely.
Corporate B.S. delivered via text message or e-mail must be printed out prior to cleaning cloth use. In some cases, this process may prove unwieldy and time-consuming and your cell phone or computer delete key may be used first.
Corporate B.S. may be sticky and difficult to get rid of entirely. Avoid rubbing. Although there are various strains of Corporate B.S. the source is generally the same. These cleaning cloths are designed to work on all varieties. However, particularly stubborn B.S. may require larger cleaning cloths. Look for our Major Corporate B.S. Cleaning Cloths in the paper towel section. For the toughest jobs, our Heavy Duty Corporate B.S. Cleaning cloths may be found at most office supply retailers.
Problems or Questions please call our customer service line toll free 1-800-Cleanit (1-800-253-2648). We love hearing from our customers.
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Dear Readers: This is just something silly I wrote back in 2011 for a product I’d like to invent. I came across it today and it made me chuckle. I hope it does the same for you. Please share if you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading.
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